Monkey Mama Lite

In hot pursuit of Badass

I used to be an early riser. Back in my early 20’s, before I became a wife and a mother, when I didn’t appreciate how truly selfish I could be with my time, I used to get up before work, to head to the gym, almost every morning. And although my alarm clock and I have never been friends, I was able to get up without too much effort. And then I became a Mom and time seemed to get sucked away into the vortex of sleep deprivation and survival. And my alarm clock and I became total enemies. I would often set it with the best of intentions to get up and work out, but when it went off at 5am I would reset it and go back to sleep for an hour…oh, who am I kidding, probably an hour and a half.

Two weeks ago I dug deep and went to a spin class for the first time. For whatever reason spin used to terrify me. I think I had visions of Bob Harper yelling at me to turn it up a notch and all I could see was my overweight body falling off that damn bike in pure defeat. But a colleague convinced me to try a class offered where we work, so I did it. I didn’t want to whine to her too much about my fear of the class since I like to try to come across as more badass and less whiney baby in my work world. Turns out, I actually survived the class and was able to say that I actually liked it. Go figure.

And then last week my post work schedule was crazy so I knew that the only option for working out I had was to get my butt up and go in the mornings. So I made plans to meet my work colleague at the 6:45am class at the work gym and up I got when my alarm chimed at 5:15am (I live an hour from work so I have to get up that early to make it there on time). And then I did it again on Friday, and I wasn’t even supposed to meet anyone there. And then I did it again yesterday and today. And I’ve decided that these morning workouts are going to be my new normal. I am doing Crossfit and Circuits and some Spin and I actually like how I feel getting it out of the way so early. By getting my lazy self out of bed early I actually have time to spend with my family at night and don’t feel guilty about skipping the gym because I already did it. And I did it well.

But, my alarm is still not my friend. This morning I laid in bed for five minutes just contemplating whether or not I was going to succumb to the enticing call of my pillow and go back to sleep for another hour. But I didn’t. And I’m pretty sure that I can ignore that little devil on my shoulder to make this a real routine because I freaking love how I am feeling right now. I feel like I am back in control. And it has truly been months since I have felt this way. I was feeling terrible working out after work because I felt like I was missing those precious hours with PEY so I stopped going, thinking I would just workout at home in the mornings. But even on the mornings that I did get up and workout at home, it wasn’t nearly as hard as I should be pushing myself. I was totally half-assing it. But somehow going to the work gym, even when no one is meeting me there, holds me more accountable. Sitting in those group spin classes or trying the Circuit weight workouts with a bunch of other people forces me to do more and push harder.   And let’s be honest, I would much rather be a Badass then a Lazyass.

To run or not to run, that is the question

I  am currently in a state of exercise confusion.

Back at the beginning of August I started running, in the effort to train for the 10k I had registered David and I for. And as we all know, I despise running. I just don’t find it enjoyable. But I started training. And for about a month we were on a roll. And then David hurt his knee, started school, and I stopped losing weight. So I cut out the running. And I started to do a lot more weight training. And voila! I lost over 5 pounds in September.

But now I am not sure exactly what to do. We have the 10k race coming up on October 30^th. And I’m pretty darn sure that I will be just fine walking the 6.2 miles. But I feel like I should start running again, so I can at least run 5k worth of the 10k. But I also want to continue losing weight. I walk. I ride our stationary bike, and I kick my butt during my weight training/endurance workouts. Do I NEED to run? Am I doing myself a disservice by not doing as much cardio as I used to? I don’t think so, especially if you adhere to the “Primal Lifestyle” way of living. But I can’t help but doubt myself. Should I be adding back in more cardio to my daily/weekly routine?

No matter what, we are participating in the Wicked 10k on October 30^th. So what I know for sure is that I am going to be AT LEAST walking 6.2 miles. But the rest of it, well that is a huge question mark. I love my weight training even though I often think I may die in the middle of one of the crazy Body Pump classes. And I enjoy walking in my neighborhood (although the treadmill I firmly believe was created by the devil. No matter how awesome your workout mix is, the treadmill is just BORING).

My current Primal brain is telling me to just keep doing what I have been doing, because it is obviously working. But my historical brain, the one that has been dieting and exercising for years, tells me that I need to start incorporating more cardio and that I need to run at least half of the 10k. I would LOVE some feedback. Help!!!

I HATE running...

I hate running. No really, I HATE running. I could walk for miles and miles and miles, but running, that is a whole other story. A little over four years ago, I got a stupid bee in my bonnet that I was going to be a runner. And I trained for a 5k. To some, a 5k is probably way too easy of a run to actually “train” for, but for me, it was a significant training event, mostly because I had to convince myself to actually run.  The run was in the middle of May, and after the race (I had about a 12 min mile pace) I ran for the rest of the summer. I still didn’t like it, but I wanted to prove to myself that I could do it.

Now that I am becoming a healthier person again, something crazy has flipped in my brain, and I am starting to have this desire to run. It’s crazy insane, but for some reason, running is like my arch nemesis. It FREAKS me out. And I feel like I need to suck it up, be a big girl, and get the F&*K over it! I need to run for no other reason then I need to prove to myself that I can do it.

So, for me, it is either go big or go home. Instead of running a 5k, I just registered David and me for a 10k, at the end of October. I mean, if I hate running so much, why not run farther than I have ever run before, right? Cause that’s an AWESOME idea. But I found a race in Virginia Beach, near my Sister in Law, who also likes to run, and it sounds like fun. Well, it sounds like fun because it is the Blue Moon Wicked 10k, which means COSTUMES and FREE BEER!!! And although I may not be much of a beer girl, I LOVE me some Blue Moon. And if there is any way to motivate me to run, it is with the promise of lots and lots of Blue Moon at the end.  

Tonight, the first step is to fix the jogging stroller. And tomorrow, I’m hitting the gym to see how far I can run on the treadmill before falling off, dead. In reality, I think this will be a great thing for David and me to do together. He actually likes running. Hopefully he can draw from his military experience and turn all Drill Sergeant on me when I start to slack off. Cause I am doing this, whether my brain thinks it’s a good idea or not.

I would like a butt kicking, please

Zumba is one of my all time favorite work outs these days. I have no idea what the Zumba videos are like, of how hard other Zumba classes are at other gyms, but my Zumba, on Friday nights, KICKS MY ARSE! It is definitely not easy and it is not a typical girly "dance" class. It is 55 minutes of pure, intense, cardio. And I am in love with the class.

There are, however, two Zumba instructors at my gym. Actually, there is a Zumba instructor (we will call her Jane)and a Cardio Dance Party instructor (we will call her Martha), because apparently unless you are a “certified” Zumba instructor, you can’t call the class “Zumba”. And that should have been my first clue that the Cardio Dance Party teacher was not going to be up to my workout standards.

When I started Zumba, I started with Jane. And her class, made me want to die, 15 minutes into the workout. The hubbub in class, my first night, was that Jane was WAY harder then Martha. 99% of the people in class wished that Martha was there. According to them she was easier to follow and her class was much better. But I never experienced Martha, I only ever took class from Jane, because she was the one who taught on the nights I was free. And yes, she moves very quickly, she does not stop for very long to teach you new steps. But that is because this is not a dance class. We are not supposed to be learning how to Salsa or Mamba, we are supposed to be working our large butts off! And moving, constantly. People, Jane, she can move that skinny body in ways I didn’t know was possible. She is one heck of a healthy lifestyle motivator. And she makes sure she works all of your body parts, including lots of abs.

Last week, I ended up, unexpectedly, taking Martha’s Cardio Dance Party class.  I was apprehensive from the very beginning. Before class had even started, the other participants were RAVING about how happy they were to see Martha, and what a hard time they had with Jane, over the past few weeks. And I just stood there, at the back of the room, biting my tongue. One of their other big complaints was that they couldn’t understand the lyrics, to the music that Jane played. Well gee people, it is LATIN music. And AFRICAN music, and BELLY DANCING music. You aren’t supposed to be singing along, you are supposed to be WORKING OUT! Jane plays a wide variety of music, some of it is the popular stuff, with a heavy Latin beat. Maybe it’s more that those ladies wanted 70’s disco or something, and they were out of touch with “what the kids are listening to these days”.

I TRIED to give Martha the benefit of the doubt. But people, our class consisted mostly of walking three steps to the left, doing a low kick, and walking back three steps to the right, with small variations in between.  And in between songs, Martha stopped to get a drink of water (which is what Jane does too, for about 10 seconds), and had a conversation with the other ladies in the class about different types of tea, and the health benefits of green tea, and even how she had found a green tea that can be made into instant iced tea. I think out of the hour class that we worked out for 30 minutes.

Here’s the thing. I understand that there are all kinds of levels of people at the gym. I understand that not everyone can keep up with Jane and her level of intensity. Honestly, I get it. But for me, I go to the gym to kick my butt. If I go to a 7pm class, and miss that last hour of my son’s day, I want to feel like it was time well spent. I want to feel like I am going to fall over from complete exhaustion by the end of the class. I want to be covered in sweat. I DO NOT want to spend my time at the gym talking about iced tea, and doing exercises that my grandmother would have been able to do. For me, I take classes because they usually force me to work harder then I would on my own. I guess the silver lining is that at least I went to the Cardio Dance Party class, instead of sitting home on my butt. But let it be known universe that Andrea wants to have her butt kicked when she works out. And that wimpy excuse for a class was just not up to my new workout standards.